I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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