If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
