i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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