What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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