stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
