can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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