he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
