the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
