All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
