I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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