i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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