So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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