So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
