I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
