I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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