I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
