____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
