You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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