the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
