So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
