my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am midnight drunk by noon
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
