I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
