drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize