I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
