I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
