Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
