I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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