it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
