o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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