fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
