Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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