you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
