Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
tell me about the eggs
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
