I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
