I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
