Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
