doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
