Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
