well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
