I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
