Apparently you make a good broom.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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