So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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