WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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