you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
