i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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