Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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