i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
