another moral hangover. fuck.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
