you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
