Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
don't judge my taste in strippers
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
