I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize