So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
