Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
