fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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