dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
