Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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