Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
