Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
